Domestic Violence during Lockdown - A Global Challenge

Locked down with the abuser in the same house and spending the entire time with almost no options left to escape, the lives of many women have taken a turn for the worse. Whereas on one hand, a housewife might become a victim of domestic violence when her partner finds it perfectly reasonable to take all his frustrations of the lockdown and workplace-related problems out on her, on the other hand, a working woman from a well to do family might also be a victim of domestic violence if she is unable to fulfill the growing expectations of family members while managing her office work. She easily gets touted for being ‘inefficient’ and that leads to her being battered a number of times.

    source : SidneyTrinidad     https://sidneytrinidadblog.files.wordpress.com/2019/02/abuse-blog-8.jpg

Not just the housewives or the women from the lower-income group as it is always believed but multiple accounts of a huge fraction of working women, women from the middle class as well as women from rich families have come to the forefront after the lockdown has been imposed. The abused housewife who bears the brunt of her partner’s anger probably sobs in some dark corner of the house remembering the time helplessly when her husband used to be at work for the entire day and return home late at night exhausted. Unlike now, mental torture and physical violence were a less frequent affair. However, the lockdown period has led to her being abused almost daily and she is clueless who to approach for help when the entire nation has come to a halt after coming into the clutches of the deadly virus.  On the other hand, the working woman ends up having to take care of both her office duties while working from home, and at the same time the entire family and all household chores during this lockdown period. As the lockdown has also kept household helpers locked in their homes, working women’s woes have been aggravated. The demands of both in-laws and partners on women have increased manifold during this period. Failing to understand the concept of working from home, the working woman’s in-laws curse her every now and then for not being able to fulfill their demands. Partners, while not participating in the household chores, easily blame women for being inefficient. This intense blame leads to frequent clashes between the two partners which end up in the woman getting severely abused many times.  She is left with no option to escape but to suffer silently.

Source: Pexels https://www.pexels.com/search/domestic%20violence/

These are just two types of instances out of hundreds that have surfaced now, exposing the misogynistic and patriarchal character of our society which has oppressed women for ages and has not traded down even in a harsh situation like this. Though violence against women and cases of domestic violence in India is neither new nor less in number, the recent lockdown has made women more vulnerable to abuse, which is the reason why there has been a sharp increase in the cases of domestic abuse and violence by intimate partners.  The National Commission for Women (NCW) has already announced an increase in complaints during the lockdown period.  The report of the NCW states that the number of complaints of domestic violence which was at 298 in the month of March increased to 315 in the month of April and is already 200, the month of May has not ended yet. The NCW has also added that they apprehend several more cases where the victims have not reached them for fear of the constant presence of the abusers in the home. The abusers who otherwise had some fear towards the intervention of relatives, other members of society or activists, and legal intervention, have grown indifferent and are not afraid of inflicting violence on their partners. On the other hand, with no hope of help from the outside world, many victims have turned frail and do not resist attacks anymore, accepting it as their fate.   

In the fight against the deadly Covid-19, many unprecedented measures which were never thought of before were taken in order to save human lives. As the government made extraordinary adjustments for the sake of protecting the lives of millions, these warlike emergency measures are disproportionately affecting specific sections of our society adversely. One such section of the population that is sadly though not surprisingly, absent from this discussion of the negative consequences – whether unintended or foreseen but inevitable – of the anti-pandemic measures has been women. Though the violence against women is deeply rooted in the crevices of society, the inability of the authorities in charge of policymaking to foresee the impact of various undertaken actions on women is yet another instance of gender-blind policy-making institutions. The proactive response of the government to curb the spread of the virus considers any adverse effect on women as mere collateral damage. The question that arises here is, when the lives of the people of the entire nation are at stake, whether the condition of a few sections of the society can be ignored. The Government and the judiciary of India need to stand for equality and justice for everyone. Any policy or measure, no matter how urgent it may be, has to consider the welfare of each section of the society and if in any unavoidable condition some policies have to be imposed, the law should be strengthened to protect the affected sections.

   Picture Source: Unsplash https://unsplash.com/s/photos/violence

The first step towards flattening the rising curve of the cases of domestic violence in India is for the administration and law enforcement agencies to acknowledge the severity of the problem. They have to believe women and sympathize with them. In this critical time, women need solid assurance that they will be heard, and that help would be sent if they fear for their own lives or their children’s lives. Reaching women in distress and saving them from abuse in extraordinary situations like these needs to be classified as an “essential service.” Helplines, shelters, and legal assistance for battered women which are already inadequate in India should be allowed to operate within the framework of separate guidelines for such situations. This will not only prove beneficial for saving women from abuse but also act as a helping hand for the government in tackling this issue when other authorities focus on various other operations. 

Not just in India, cases of domestic and intimate partner violence have also been noted in the United States, the United Kingdom, China, and Australia among other countries. A rise in domestic violence has impacted women’s mental health and has increased the risk to women’s lives as well.  Research from the King’s College London indicates that since the beginning of the global lockdown, 57% of women have reported depression as compared to 40% of men.

Whether the existing policies and laws are adequate for the enormity of the challenge is debatable now. As the spread of the virus and the lockdown imposed to contain the same has given rise to greater abuse of some sections of the society in particular, it is of great importance to ponder over existing policies and bring required changes so that such situations can be avoided in the future. If saving lives in the pandemic is the overarching objective, saving lives from the negative impacts of the rules enacted to contain the same should also be our aim. It is understandable that in an extraordinary situation like this it is difficult to address every issue but it is imperative to identify and discuss the same. While the government machinery should identify the disproportionate gender impacts of the lockdown, society should also strive to bring about much-needed change. Respect of women, equal distribution of household chores between partners, and understanding the mental stress on women in any family is something that needs to be achieved at home itself. This is not something that should be learned by everyone for just the present lockdown period alone, but should also be inculcated in the long run for the healthy functioning of the family. Gender equality in the workplace as well as at home is essential to achieve in order to lower the cases of domestic violence than any other government policy. This issue needs to be addressed from its origin. 

With the lockdown, as the curve of the spread of the virus gets flattened, it is also very important to flatten the curve of domestic abuse as well. Only then shall it be considered as a victory over the virus in the true sense.

IT'S ABSOLUTELY FINE- A NEW YEAR READ

Though your last year’s resolution was to make lots of new friends but that didn’t work out just like other plans of yours. Hitting gym regularly, eating healthy food, travelling a lot, talking to strangers were few more in the list that you couldn’t follow. If you have failed to wish each friend of yours on their birthdays, call or text them atleast once a month or have failed to meet them often, then its fine. It’s absolutely fine.  

If you have felt like you have been ignored in the parties, felt like left out in gatherings where you have spent the entire evening sipping wine, staying indifferent to their loud giggles that penetrated your drums and bothered you more than the lame jokes they cracked, or in the extreme case if you have not been invited in many occasions, friends mostly forgot to ask you for outings and if you have been labeled a pathetic introvert, then its fine. It’s absolutely fine.

If throughout the year you have been asked to change, people left you complaining, even those few people who used to text you stopped to do so and your crush avoided you every time you tried to make your move, then its fine. It’s absolutely fine.

It was absolutely fine to be like yourself this year. It will be fine to remain the same the next year too. It was fine that few of your resolutions failed which could have transformed you into a different person. It’s fine to gray your hair changing calendars on your wall remaining exactly the same you have always been. Yes bad habits must be changed but it is not fine to change the way you are just because you don’t fit in certain places and in some people’s lives.

If on this New Years Eve, you are away from your family and your friends have ignored you and have not included you in their plans, then party with yourself. Keep the music so loud that the lyrics of your favorite tracks get soaked into your soul and let the sound overpower the cacophony outside. If you love music let it heal you. If you love singing, sing alone at the top of your voice. Let your frustrations vent out and make yourself completely empty to welcome better things in the New Year to come. If you love painting, paint that white canvas with the colors of your choice or keep it black and white, If you like yourself that way. If you love reading select the book of your choice from the shelf and get yourself lost in the world of imagination and words. If you love to write, then pen down the poem or the story you always wanted to read. Bleed ink to fight and create tombstones of your insecurities with your words.    

Introvert they call you, right? But you are not one to yourself. You are your best friend. So, spend the entire day with yourself and treat yourself with everything you like the most. No one knows you better than you yourself.  

So, this new year keep yourself alive within you, even if that will cost you to walk alone. It is fine, it’s absolutely fine.  

P Chidambaram seeking greater autonomy for J&K raises numerous questions

I don’t support BJP to the extent to which I hate Congress for their appeasement politics, the sold media for their selective outrage and the fake liberals for nothing but their fakeness.

Recently former union minister, P Chidambaram has given a statement supporting the complete autonomy of Jammu and Kashmir. To cover up his statement he added that this should be done within the constitutional framework. 

First of all let me tell you this is not the very first time that a strong leader of the congress party has showed his intention for providing complete autonomy to Jammu and Kashmir. Earlier such statements have already been made by few of their other prominent leaders like P.V. Narasimharao ji and Manmohan Singh ji.

You can tell me that, even Vajpayee ji during his tenure had agreed to talk on this matter. Yes, he had. He had agreed to talk but had never made any statement supporting complete autonomy for J&K. In June 26, 2000 when the state assembly of J&K had passed the autonomy resolution, center had pushed it aside, though two years later; Vajpayee ji made the statement that the center was always open to talk.

But the Congress party has always been famous for its appeasement politics. They have always tried to provide the fake momentary pleasures to lure the minority voters rather than working for their betterment in real.

If P Chidambaram is so much worried for providing complete autonomy to the state, then why did he never raise this issue earlier and why did his party never brought changes in the 370 article even after staying in power for so many years?

Why the outrage found crevices to ooze out in the recent time when the ruling party is looking forward to solve this issue and have come up with the idea of engaging an interlocutor to carry out talks?

The article of 370 was furnished under the leadership of respected lt. Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru Ji. The autonomy of Kashmir except defense, finance, Ext. affairs and communications was agreed when their party was in power, thus depriving this state from complete autonomy. The flaws in the very same article were made under the rule of their party. This temporary article was carried on for years as such without any amendment even after their party was in rule for the maximum time.

And now when I hear such a statement from the leading member of the same party, I am compelled to ask, WHY?

Is it your insecurities that are coming out in the form of such statements?

Is this just another way to appease a particular community?

Is this just another means to create unrest in the affected area when the Government is sending a party to talk?

Or is this just your own opinion that you shared now? Even if it is so, my question still stands there, why? Why now? Why not before?

What is autonomy within constitutional framework?

What is the meaning of providing J&K complete autonomy but still keeping it intact to India?

I believe complete autonomy and the idea of still staying with the nation cannot co-exist at the same time.

And this is for sure that an independent Kashmir cannot survive on its own. It had failed to do so in past and it will tumble down if given a chance in the future too. If it can survive, then I think this 370 article wouldn’t have come into force in the first place. The independence that they are shouting for was theirs only. It was their king who pleaded infront of the government of India for protection after being attacked by Pakistan.

Many leaders of the Congress party have distanced themselves from the statement made by P Chidambaram. The party has also announced that it was his personal opinion and the party shares nothing in common with him in this context. I agree to it completely. It is not correct to question the entire party for the opinion of any single person.

But why isn’t this idea applicable when you accuse some other party just because of the statements made by its members? Even the paid media joins you in this row blindly and defames many who are not even involved in it, just to satisfy your political needs.

Recently why BJP was questioned for the opinion given by Sangeet Som about the TajMahal? Why no one leaves a chance to accuse BJP for the provocative speeches made by some of its party members? Why Narendra Modi ji was questioned when a person whom he followed in social media made some disgraceful statement? Infact there was a huge protest against the honorable PM of our country leading to a popular hash tag trend to unfollow him. The statement made by the person whom honorable PM followed was shameful but wasn’t it his personal opinion? Then why the PM and the entire party was dragged in for someone else’s personal opinion?

This idea of treating personal opinions as someone’s personal feelings and not linking it to others and disgracing the entire political party is a good idea. But why is this privilege given to a particular party? Why is there always a selective outrage from certain media houses?  

The whole idea of granting complete autonomy to J&K itself arises numerous numbers of questions. Why complete autonomy to a state? Why not to work in the direction of solving their issues, so that there will be no demand for complete autonomy in future? What if complete autonomy will lead to a serious security threat? What if separatists will find the completely autonomous state most favorable ground to achieve their aim? Will not it be like cheating those brave soldiers who for years are fighting relentlessly in the valleys to maintain peace? Will not it be like disrespecting those sacrifices made for protecting this soil?

Kashmir issue is delicate as well as complicated. So, it needs to be tackled efficiently and peacefully only by talks. That is the reason why I think political parties as well as their leaders should refrain themselves from making their opinions public, especially in the time when we are expecting a talk between the government representative and Kashmir leaders. We are not in a state to handle any kind of unrest or hindrance to the peace talk that someone’s opinion can make.

Let’s hope that the talk yields some good results that will bring peace in the valley.  

JUST ANOTHER CRAP...

Indian television has failed us time and again. Those numerous shows telecasted have disrespected women everytime they have characterized her nothing less than some venomous snake, they have disrespected the family values everytime they have celebrated rifts in relationships, while portraying marriages in peculiar ways where they make a person marry atleast thrice, they have made jokes of our customs, the medical theories were mocked everytime the plastic surgery had not only changed face but the entire appearance of the person. The Extravagant set ups, lavish houses, costly attires was all that was showed to us in the name of entertainment that accompanied those foolish scripts. The Indian television hit the lowest when a soap was broadcasted that depicted love between a kid and a woman where every now and then the kid was found drooling his eyes over a beautiful lady trying to seduce her in an way or the other. Thanks, to the uproar in the social media that finally led to the closure of such a bizarre show that imparted nothing but vulgarity.

In this article I won’t be talking about hundreds of such shows in the past (many of them are still running) that propagated nothing but stupidity and did nothing in enriching Indian brains.

Here I want to talk about a current show that I find stupid from all aspects. And I feel pity for those who are watching this show daily without a miss. I said I feel pity for the audience; I didn’t call them stupid for watching such a show because they are not left with enough options to choose from. In the name of entertainment they have always been served stupidity.

Anyways, everything was going fine till I came to know that Dhinchak Pooja have entered the house. This is a new low in the already crippled Indian television.

Now I can imagine the future endeavors to be achieved by this lady. She will stay in the house, participate in the tasks, get votes from audience (as I said people have no other option), she may win the show or she may not, then few months later we will find her in some other show, then few more shows and she will acclaimed as a television star. Then she will be giving interviews on national channels and print media about her struggle, passion for music, determination to learn and create good music and then her enchanting journey in the industry. She will be preaching viewers to work hard citing examples from her life, the hurdles that stood on her way and how she jumped over them bravely, the trolls that she faced and how she kept herself strong enough to ignore them and concentrated in her good work and produced some soulful tracks. She will make millions of followers and who knows some magazine or agency may nominate her as the, “women of the decade” in the near future.

These speculations are possible. Aren’t they? In India everything is possible. Actually we make them possible. And we can’t even blame Dhinchak Pooja for all this. After all it is we who turned the complete crap into a viral sensation overnight. Now she has all the rights over this popularity. She proved that anyone without potential, talent and credentials can rise to this position. And our trolls and attention helps them achieve this.

Come on, if RG can claim the PM chair, Gurmehar kaur is declared the next Gen leader, Judwaa 2 can be the second highest grosser of this year, then we have no right to question Indian Television and Dhinchak Pooja. Do we have?

I think we should ask ourselves this question.

Have we grown up as audience? Have we ever valued the real talents?

Everytime we clap at those mindless scripts and share stupid videos just for fun, we actually murder real talents and prove that we deserve such stupid shows.

P.S. All the points made here are my personal opinion. You may have differences with me in some points. But believe me, I DON’T CARE. Thank you. 

I AM THE INDEPENDENCE

I am more than

Just a holiday

when you relax on your lounge

with that air-conditioner under your roof 

enjoying every drop of your hot coffee

switching and tuning channels

where national channel is only selected in the breaks

Remember, I am more than just a day...

I am the ages of struggle you forgot.

I am more than

Just the long weekend you were looking for

Trips, visiting to your relatives, get-togethers

The night outs, booze parties or your most awaited secluded outing

Remember, I am more than the fun you are looking for …

I am the memorial of bloods spilled, sweats broke and the heads rolled.

I am more than

Just a freedom sale

The big hoardings displaying the discounts draped in tricolor

The malls trying to allure you with the brands getting sold at half the rate

Online stores flashing advertisements

Every time you are activating that bloody internet of yours

Shoes, apparels, mobiles and what not

Remember I more than an offer, I am not a commodity in the market….

I am the economy, the financial growth.

I am more than

Just a Facebook post of yours 

The profile picture you will change with the tricolor in the corner

The forwarded messages coated with nationalism 

The status you will update that will get vanished the next day

I am more than that, I am not the show off stuff in the social media…

I am the words which sets you free 

I am your freedom of speech.

I am more than

The political speeches

The praises, the accusations

The supports, the complains

The silence, the applauds

I am more than that, I am not your stunts to gather votes…

I am not political, yet I govern all the politics.

I am more than

The game of division that will be played infront of different communities

The seeds of lie that will be sowed

The fake sweets of appeasement politics that will be fed

The dagger of religion dipped in the poison of hatred that will be stabbed silently

The fights that will be provoked  

And your screams for independence in an already independent country

I am more than that…

I am the equality, the justice.

I am the independence.

I am the free air you are breathing in

The life you are living….

A PLOT IN MY CITY - ANOTHER STORY THAT OCCURS BEHIND THE VEIL

Bhubaneswar was growing then. She is still growing up. She was extending her limits. From being just a planned capital city of a neglected, unexplored, underdeveloped state, it was emerging into a business hot spot, an education hub, an IT corridor and a center for super specialty hospitals. This resulted in the inflow of swarm of people with vivid interests into the town. Some came here for business, some for their jobs and some for education.  So she had to extend her boundaries to accommodate everyone who landed up here. She has always been an affectionate mother.

The requirement for land led people to reach the inaccessible areas. The opening of two big private universities along with other institutions at the two corners of the city led to the mega turnout of those areas in particular. The institutes that welcomed thousands of students every year made those areas the new face of the city. Those areas which were considered as the most remote sites at some point of time turned out to be the favorite location of business for many. Thus, market complexes, lavishing hotels, places of amusements, corporate hospitals, etc sprung up in those areas rapidly.

And with all these developments, what went sky high was the price of those lands. And with this the operations of land mafias became prevalent. People were duped, looted and tortured for land. While many were dusted to ground and lost their dreams, land mafias and their associates became millionaire overnight. From snake charmers who used to catch snakes in the forest covered areas and amuse people in the city, they grew up suddenly to become millionaire who drove Audi, Jaguar and what not.  And this is not the story of Land mafias alone. It’s the symbiotic relationship of the entire system that nurtured them.

Let me tell you the story that occurs behind the veil when Bhubaneswar is growing up, a story that is no different from the stories of many unfortunates from other developing cities throughout this country…

Mr. Ramakant sahu is a class 2 government employee who stayed in a Government allotted quarter in Bhubaneswar. It was in 90’s when the concept of, “Builder and land development societies” had just reached the city.

The dream of having an own house sparkles in every eye. Rich or poor, everyone wants a place which they can claim to be their own. With such a dream nourished from years in his soul, Ramkant bought a land from such a society. He drew all his savings but failed to buy a plot in the centre of the city. It was that period when Bhubaneswar was just a new bird. It was yet to stretch out her wings. So, he decided to buy a plot from the undeveloped corner of the city which just fell into his budget. So ultimately in the year of 1993, Ramakant finished all the paper works and got the land registered to his name. Young Ramakant celebrated the day with his wife and his boy.

In few years they welcomed a girl child to their family. With time the burden on his shoulders increased. The expenditures on family increased. Nourishing the family, educating his kids, fulfilling their wishes, responsibilities towards the relatives, medicines of old aging parents, loan installments, everything just squeezed him up. He had forgotten when last he had bought a pair of new clothes for himself and for his beloved wife. He had forgotten when last he had tasted some food outside. He starved in his lunch hours, wore the same old clothes again and again to save some money. But still he failed to build a house at the plot he had purchased. All he could succeed in making was a boundary wall and an outhouse in his land.

Every Sunday he used to paddle kilometers carrying his boy on his Hero cycle to see his plot. He would show the land to his son happily that it belongs to them and someday they will build a house there. His son would look his father with pride and admiration.

Years after, the face of those areas completely changed. Those undeveloped areas changed into the most expensive area of the city.

After several years also, Ramakant had not left his routine exercise of cycling to visit his land miles away. With growing age, his bones became fragile, but his spirit was still high. He still nurtured the dream of building his own house.

Like every weekend, that weekend also he visited his plot. It was always his patch of land that remained empty. But this time he failed to find his empty patch of land. Instead he saw construction work going on there. Four pillars stood on his land inside the boundary wall. Few laborers were busy in sand filling where as few others were spraying water on the newly made concrete pillar.  He stood bedazzled.

After regaining his sense, he rushed into the construction area. Afraid, he asked the laborers, supervisors, everyone there about the construction work. None had any answer. All that they said was that they were only hired to work there. He fell down.

Few minutes later he regained some energy and started obstructing the workers from carrying out any work. They stopped too. By then the supervisor had called up the person who has employed them there. With in no time, a dark, obese man with thick golden chain hung down his neck that oscillated to and fro as he walked towards Ramakant arrived in the construction site. The moment he arrived there, he lit a cigarette and shouted at Ramakant for stopping the work. Words accompanied by puffs of smoke rained out of his mouth. The words that he used were tearing up Ramakant’s drums. They were intolerable.

Before he could have said anything, the dark fat man ordered his workers to throw Ramakant out of the property. Thus, MR. Ramakant was thrown out of his own land and was warned not to enter it ever. He was even said by the fat man that it was Ramakant’s mistake for keeping the land empty for so long and now that he has captured it, Ramkant is not going to get it back.

Trembling out of fear of losing his only property, Ramakant cycled to the local Police station with all his papers. Police said him that they cannot help him as it is a civil case. They advised him to file a civil case.

He filed a civil case. This entitled him to take the help of the nearby police station to drive away the illegal encroachment. But the local police fooled him again and again for their personal profit. So, when he realized this he approached the highest authority of the police department. But unfortunately he was so less important that he failed to even draw their attention towards his plea. He then tried to contact the media houses. But no one does anything for free. Everything comes with a price tag and he was not able to afford that amount.

Thus, Ramakant’s case became a part of those thousand of pending cases in the court. Dates after dates rolled on. Months changed to years. The sorrow of losing his only property and the huge fees of his lawyer fastened his aging process. He looked atleast ten years older than his age. His hairs turned white. His fair skin turned dark getting tanned in the sun. He became leaner with sunken cheeks resembling an old man suffering from malnutrition. All he could get in these years was false hope but not the judgment that he was actually looking for.

Meanwhile, the illegal encroacher finished building a swanky house in Ramakant’s land and put it in rent.

one weekend his son forced to accompany him who had just returned finishing his studies after years. Ramakant had not disclosed this to his son earlier when he was studying. He didn’t want anything to hamper his studies. Moreover, he didn’t want to feel timid infront of his son. He didn’t want his son to lose the respect and the pride that he carried for his father. He was afraid of humiliation.

His son looked at him with pride. The respect for his father increased many folds after he learned about his fight. He hugged his father, kissed his cheeks. Ramakant had turned cold. He looked deep into his father’s eyes. Ramakant was still avoiding an eye contact. His son said, “Papa you have grown me up well, educated me. Now it is my turn. I know lots of memories of yours are associated with this piece of land. I cannot get back this plot for you but I promise I will earn enough to buy a land ten times bigger than this. I promise you that you will build your own house exactly the way you have always dreamed off.” Tears rolled down Ramakant’s eyes. He hugged his son tight and both of them returned back.

Bhubaneswar is turning into a nouveau riche city with different grades of people competing for wealth and power. Both wealth and power breeds prosperity as well as crime. So crime of various faces is growing up in this city recently behind the veil when we are busy in celebrations of the acceptance of Bhubaneswar as a smart city. Bhubaneswar is an adolescent, immature, vigorous and energetic city. It is very important to keep it away from developing the ugly warts.

Long live my love, the beautiful city, Bhubaneswar. 

GO SLOW - A NEW YEAR READ

16 is turning to 17. I know you will take few days to get used to it. Till then you are going to commit the same mistake of scribbling 2016 everywhere you are going to mention the date. “Oops, its 2017 now. I have to correct it.” Everything will now move on to a new year except you. It can be because you are habituated with 16 from last one year, or can be because you love the year so much that you don’t want it to pass or can be because it was so bad that you are not able to forget it. Whatever the reason may be, now you have to let 2016 go. You can’t incarcerate time. Actually, her purpose in your life is just over now. She came a year back, stayed with you, gave you some good and bad memories and now it’s the time to bid her goodbye.

And now when the year is ending, you are filled with a peculiar yet a known feeling. You have talked about this again and again when a year had ended in the past. “OMG, the year is ending. What have I done in this year?” “Except being the part of the rat race what else have I done?”

Actually you have lived your life so fast, that you forgot to experience it. You fell in love fast, broke up even faster, you made friends fast, made enemies even faster, you believed people fast, you got cheated even faster, you saw dreams and set your goals fast, you forgot them even faster, you settled down on doing something good for the society fast, forgot your notion even faster. You have lived this year and may be many years in the past with rollers fixed on to your legs. You have just moved on and on. You have not stopped for your beloved ones; neither have they done the same for you. 

I understand, in this competitive world, you want to run, you want to improve and you want to win the race. “Winning”, is not a stationary point where you can reach. It keeps on changing. Goal keeps on evolving and you have to chase behind it. I understand that completely. But, in between that you have to live and experience your life. So, I will suggest you to do certain things slowly from this year so that you can experience and treasure them as beautiful memories.

Fall in love but slowly. If you like someone, take your time. Let love bring you both together. If love is conspired between you both, believe me, no one can take that person away from you. There is no need of hurrying into a relationship and breaking it up in no time. You are hurting yourself and definitely the other person. You have no right to hurt anyone else just for the decision you had taken hurriedly.

Make friends, slowly. Not everyone will become your friend; neither can you become everyone’s friend. So take your time, make some good friends for life and experience that true selfless friendship. 

Believe people, slowly again. Know them, judge them and then trust them. There is no point of believing every other person and then complaining that they ditched you. Take your time and find out slowly on whom you can believe.

Except just going in and coming out of that lavish office of yours, you have a passion, nourish it, slowly. Every night before you sleep, you have promised yourself to start working on your passion from the next day. But the very next morning you have always broken that promise of yours. I understand, you have lots of work piled one over the other and the sword of deadline is hanging over your neck. But believe me; this sword will always remain there. So, don’t think that someday you will finish all your jobs and give time to your passion. My friend, that day will never come. So, slow down. Giving few minutes to your passion won’t cost you your next promotion but definitely it will fill your heart and soul with peace and lots of happiness. It may be a small painting you want to do, a poem you want to write or a song you want to record. I don’t know what it is that will give you solace. But slow down, think over it and do it.

After watching the episodes of “Sathyamev Jayate”, you have always planned to do something good for the society. But you forget the same the next day. I will suggest you to get inspired and not ignited. Inspiration is something that stays with you till you do that work. So next time, get inspired and do something good for the society. It can be anything; you can just start by planting a tree or by lending a book to a downtrodden child. So, slow down, think over it, get inspired and bring the change.

Life is not always about running fast and overtaking your competitors. Sometimes it is essential to slow down, so that you can experience the moments. These are the moments which make that you call life. Promotions, hikes, incentives, good appraisals are important. But what are equally important in life are experiences, happiness and peace. And for that you have to slow down and do something that will nourish your soul. I know you know about this very well and I am talking something cheesy. But I am just trying to remind you in case you have forgotten it.  

Wish you all a very happy and prosperous new year.