PLEASE KILL ME....PLEA OF A FEMALE FETUS

PLEASE KILL ME........

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I wish my birth was my choice....

My mother was lying on the operation table, under a green blanket, screaming loud in pain. She was keeping on requesting my papa not to kill me but he was not giving ears to her helpless cry. He was consoling her that let her get rid of me and they can have a son soon . In the mean time doctor arrived and analysed my mother, pressing the upper stomach slowly. I realized that in a few minutes I am going to meet my doom.  I could hear the clings of surgical instruments kissing each other..weapons preparing for my infanticide . I started shivering inside my mother’s womb. I tried to escape away but the umbilical cord attached with my mother never allowed me to. The moment doctor started the operation, trying to insert the speculum; I tried hard to crawl away deeper inside. I squeezed myself, wrapping my tiny legs and by burying my head between my hands. I was crying. My two month old home was submerged completely with my tear. The evil doctor was surprised by the unwanted outflow of water. He was demanding for more cotton to soak it. But how could I tell him that it was not any of his new medical phenomenon of which he was not aware of or not anyone of his new discoveries that he could use as his next research, possibly but those are my tears that I was shading incessantly from inside in pain and fear .“Dear, what happened, why are you so afraid?” God asked me. “They are going to kill me and I wonder what my mistake is?” I asked dolefully. “It’s not your mistake my child. Humans always fail to interpret my gifts..”, god replied. “Stop boasting yourself, I am going to die before seeing this world, before seeing my mother who conceived for so long and you are blabbering some nonsense about human nature.” I started crying again. “Ok...but u must stop crying baby” God replied. “I can’t …..I want to see my mother. I want to see this world.” I lamented.  No one understands other than God. He presented me one hour to see the outside world. . Suddenly a small plastic tube entered, almost reaching me and the machine, aspirator was started….

Few hours later I found myself outside. I looked at my mother who was lying on the bed. She was looking as charming as I had always imagined. Her watery eyes were speaking how much pain she had to go through such a traumatic phase of losing her own part... I wanted her to take me in her lap, embrace me affectionately and feed me with the divine milk. I too wanted to touch her, curdle in her lap and grow up holding her tender fingers. But the train of my thoughts halted when I was wrapped in a poly bag. I shouted loud but perhaps it was not loud enough to reach the hard shelled human ears. I was then thrown into a river along with several more exterminated friends of mine. Few fell inside the water and few on the bank who became a time meal for the stray dogs. I was floating, running my eyes to flash every fruits of this wonderful world.........

Suddenly I saw a newspaper too floating beside me.  The headline said, “SIX YEAR OLD GIRL MOLESTED AND LEFT TO DIE”. I was dumbfounded for a moment. Then I started to read the entire news which said that the dead body of a six year old girl was found in an abandoned building. After medical tests it was found that she had been molested and was then murdered. Police investigated the matter seriously and found the culprit was none other than her own uncle. I was jolted and sudden unusual chillness gripped me. I wondered how anyone could rape a six year old girl. I started flowing with the current again…..

After sometime I got stuck in a wooden log floating in the river. I tried my best to escape but I was helpless. In the mean time I heard two women talking at the bank of the river while washing clothes. One woman said that Mr. Rout murdered his wife. When the other woman inquired the reason behind it, she replied that since the girl had not brought the entire dowry that they had demanded, they killed her barbarically. She also said that they had set her on fire and bribed the police inspector who changed the murder into a mere case of accident. I managed to escape and started flowing again with a heavier heart. It really surprised me that human beings value money more than life and a husband who is ought to shower love on his wife is killing the same for dowry...

The waves of river were carrying me far and far. I was passing through mangroves, enjoying the greenery when I suddenly  heard a screaming . I stopped there and tried to see through between the trees. Soon I found a half naked girl being surrounded by few brutes. Some of them were showering lewd comments on her, while some were trying their level best to undress her while few others were laughing at her doom. Suddenly one tall fellow came forward and tore her dress to make her completely naked. He was acting like a raving lunatic and was laughing madly like anything. The poor girl was crying loud and was trying hard to hide herself with every bit of her torn cloth that she could find lying scattered around her. She was shouting for help and requesting those beasts to leave her, but none of them hear her plea. Within no time she had been raped, one after the other, each one of them was thrusting over her. She was screaming in pain and was bleeding profusely. Few of the bastards were busy shooting her naked video and few were teasing her by dropping lit cigarettes over her naked body. After some time her body turned cold, hand and legs were stretched , the finger tips bent and  her eye lids downcasted to half mast. She became unconscious failing to withstand the pain and humiliation.It felt like I had been struck by a bolt from the blue. White rage filled me. I tried to kill them all but I was helpless. Now I understood why my parents were trying to kill me. I could do nothing except weeping.

Oh God !!! I beg before you , please kill me. I don’t want to live in this patriarchal society where girls are tortured. They will never understand that my birth is not my choice. When I can’t withstand this world for not more than one hour, how can I survive here for my entire life? PLEASE…PLEASE KILL ME….

"ACHA KIA JO MUJHE MAAR DIA,

ANE WALE TAKLIFON SE JO BACHA DIA;

KYA HOTA JO MAIN BADDI HO JATI,

KISI HEWAN KI HAWAS KA SIKHAR JO BANTI,

ACHA KIA JO MUJHE MAAR DIA……

KYA HOTA JO MAIN BADDI HO JATI,

RASTE PE CHALTE HUE MERI JISM KI NUMAISHEN HOTI,

MERE HUSN KI BOLIYAN LAGTI,

SHADI KE NAAM PE ME KHARIDI JATI,

SAB BAS APNI HAAT SEKH KE CHALE JATE

PAR MERE DIL KE CHAALE WAISE HI

HARE KE HARE REH JATE…….

ACHA KIA JO MUJHE MAAR DIA."

please save girls... don't let them to cry...they are your mother, sister , wife and friends.....save them if you think you are human..